Ironically, He's the same... yesterday, today, & tomorrow
I actually enjoy change too… Most of the time…
There have been a lot of changes happening in my life over the last four months…
- I packed up for 11 months and left the comfortable, safe life that I knew and loved
- So far I’ve traveled to four different countries and two continents (many more to come)
- God has been relentless in chasing after my heart (which is new to me)
- A lot of the “junk” in my life has been uprooted: I’m no longer needy for people and their attention, affection, & affirmation I’m no longer dependent on others and I know that I am worthy of being exactly who I am I am bold, courageous, secure I speak out when the Spirit leads and listen more when God speaks to me I am learning daily to lean on God for everything…I can’t do life without Him
- I have been raised up to a Squad Leader…a spiritual leader of my squad of 38…I was just a team member and now I’m leading the squad…what?!?
GOD IS SOOO FUNNY!!!
- I am no longer on a team of 7, but a team of 3 (squad leaders)
- My traveling around to each country will be more frequent as I visit teams
- The focus of this journey now is the people on my squad and not so much the ministries
- I am now a Zealous Heart Chaser who will listen to the Lord for the right answers, questions, & words for other people in order to lift them up into the greatness that God has planned for them
- My walk with God is also changing into something greater, something that I can’t explain, but I know it’s going to be awesome!
Overall the changes are positive…the changes are unexpected…God surprises me in many ways and continues to do so everyday…I should probably not be so surprised anymore…
I love surprises and I do like change…there have been times throughout this journey, though, when I didn’t enjoy the change…those were times that brought me closer to God…I had nowhere else to turn but to Him…I had to fix my eyes on my Savior and allow him to take control…
I like control…I don’t let go of control too easily…but I did it…I let go…I literally had to open my hands at times and let go of the control, hurt, anger, impatience, confusion, frustration, defiance, etc. that I was holding on to…LET IT GO…
I NEEDED THE CHANGE…I had to have change in my life in order for God to work out the junk…I didn’t know I still had junk, but, OH YES, it’s there…
Without all of these changes, I would not be able to progress in life, to move forward…I would be living a good enough life, but God knows (and is calling us) into a BETTER, GREATER LIFE…it can’t be just “good enough” anymore…why settle for that…”good enough” is boring!
I am embracing the change and embracing what God is doing in my life…it’s wonderful…I’m taking new leaps of faith, jumping off the cliff, flying into the unknown…AND knowing without a doubt that God will catch me, grab my hand, and guide me on the journey!!!
What does your daddy look like? Is he tall? Strong? Short? Round? Thin? Does your daddy lift you in his arms, tell you he loves you, and give you piggyback rides?
My daddy, Lenard, doesn’t do that, but it’s because I’m 27 years old and that might put a strain on his back. he he! But when I was a little girl, he did all of those things. My daddy is one of the strongest, most influential men in my life. He is my hero and he has taught me a lot of what I know now in my adult life. As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned more about my daddy and learned about some of the amazing miracles God has done in his life. My daddy has stood strong in his faith and passed that on to me. All of his adult life my dad has walked with Christ, not without struggles of course, and he has not run away from God. I look at my daddy and I can only admire his life journey. Some of the lessons he’s taught me is to be a hard worker, live fully in Christ, not to take on an orphan mentality, be respectful of others and myself, and honor others even when I don’t agree with them. He’s also laid down some rules like: “Don’t date until you’re 25 years old” and given advice like: “When people pick on you, it’s most likely because they like you”. Those are actually jokes in our family, but I take them to heart because they come from my daddy. He disciplined me as a child and I appreciate that now as an adult. As I’ve grown up, he has become one of my best friends who I confide in and who I have long discussions with about life.
I love my daddy…he is the ultimate daddy!
I would like to share with you about another “daddy” I’ve met while on the race…his name is Tony Deien of Zion’s Gate Ministries in Tegucigalpa, Honduras and he’s the daddy of about 11 young boys from the streets. These boys have made the decision to leave their poor, addicted to paint thinner, no direction in life lifestyle to live with Tony and his wife Nidia. It’s amazing to see the relationship between him and the boys. Tony doesn’t just give them a home and food to eat, but he teaches them how to live as respectful citizens. He wants the boys to become men and learn how to work hard for the luxuries of life. There are no handouts at Zion’s Gate and Tony loves the boys enough to push them into being greater than their current selves. It’s really cool to see a man so devoted to boys who are not his own flesh and blood. The boys come from a community called Los Pinos where there is not much motivation to succeed in life. Tony shared with us that 95% of the families in Los Pinos are without fathers…this status breaks my heart. It’s encouraging though to know that Tony is dedicating his life to lifting up these boys, and then my prayer is that they grow to change the “no father” status in Los Pinos. My prayer is that the boys grow to be men of God, who then become fathers to their families.
Tony is the ultimate daddy!
I would like to share with you yet another daddy who I’ve truly known for a few years now…his name is God and he’s been the greatest daddy in my life. God never fails and He knows how to love. He is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God is patient and God is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, and He is not proud. He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, and He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. He cares about digging into the deepest parts of our hearts and wants to uproot those dark places so that we are brought into the light. God loves from the east to the west and won’t relent until He has all of who we are. He disciplines us in love because he wants us to be greater. God allows pain to happen because when we focus our eyes on Him, we see the hope that comes through the pain. Life is messy, but God our daddy has it all knitted together, and even though He doesn’t reveal to us the big picture, we put our trust in Him that He has it all in control. God is jealous for us and He is zealous as he chases after our hearts. God created the heavens and the earth, and He created us to be exactly who we are. He sees us each as beautiful creations and loves us for who we are, what we look like, our personalities, etc. God lifts us up in His arms, tells us He loves us, and even gives us piggy back rides when we need them.
God is the ultimate daddy of all ultimate daddies!
I hope that you have an earthly daddy who loves you, and if not I pray that you find God, the ultimate daddy who loves you unconditionally!
So debrief was amazing…to say the least. God gave me a lot of peace about my life and the path I’m on. The Holy Spirit moved through D-Squad in such amazing ways and so many of my squad mates declared FREEDOM over their lives. It’s cool to be a part of God’s kingdom…to be a daughter of God!
My question though is…”How is it possible?” There are so many impossibilities in the world that are only possible with God.
How is it possible…?
That a life can be forever changed
For 40 people with different personalities, opinions, and ideas to work together
To cry tears of conviction and sorrow, and then 5 minutes later cry tears of joy and freedom
That honesty truly is the “best policy” and communication will right most wrongs
To admit you’re not perfect and lay your heart out on the table in front of “strangers”
That in admitting your secrets, everything you’ve known in life can be flipped upside down (in a good way)
To admit your darkest secrets, have it received with smiles and open arms…and still be accepted in love
To pray a daily prayer and with faith & perseverance, your prayers are answered
To forgive those who have hurt you, wronged you, abused you, cut you down, disappointed you…
To drop your “American” life, move to a third world country, and love & serve the people
To live out of a backpack for one year…travel to a new country every month…starting over each month
That 7 people can live together in community, around each other 24/7, and still love & respect one another
That one man’s vision of providing a home for orphaned, abandoned, and lost children is now a reality
For the abandoned children of El Salvador to find unconditional love in the arms of a American missionary
That another man had a vision to provide a better life for street kids and that vision is now a reality
For boys living on the streets to find love, safety, and refuge in a place that used to be a night club
To change the direction of an entire country
To be safe in a country, like Honduras, where gangs are real, 2-3 people die/week, teens get high on paint thinner daily, and girls have multiple babies by age 14
Yea…all of these “How is it possible?” questions have been running through my mind, and I can find only one answer…
JESUS CHRIST
The only way the “impossible” things can happen is when we have a relationship with Christ, and in Him everything is possible. My team has been praying for God to do the “impossible” in our lives b/c when the world says “There’s no way”, God says “Yes there is a way because I AM THE WAY.”
Our current ministry is in Tegucigalpa, Honduras at Zion’s Gate Ministries. I’ll share more on this awesome place later. Now I want to share with you a saying from the director, Tony Deien: “Todo es possible con Dios”, which translates to “Everything is possible with God”. So YES it’s possible…ALL is possible with God, and what wonderful hope lies in that to know that He has it all in control.
God is the answer to the impossible questions…is your life full of crazy impossibilities that have become realities? If not, try God…you just might encounter a new radical reality!
It was bittersweet to say Goodbye...leaving this place, but moving on to the next adventure. This month was beautiful and one I will never forget!
The work I did this month for Mi Casa kids was to make PowerPoint presentations and videos to promote the orphanage. Here is the video I made as a wrap up of our ministry in El Salvador!
Ok so there are more pictures I want to post, however the Internet here isn't working well. The video will show you our life in ministry. Thanks again for your prayers and support.
Imagine this…you’re standing in the moonlight on a beach and the waves are rolling in, sometimes splashing the water on your feet. You’re worshipping, singing along with the guitar playing in the background, and there are others there with you, but all you feel in that moment is Jesus. Suddenly, he starts dancing with you, yes dancing, right there on the beach with the moonlight, waves, water, and guitar. It’s one of the most beautiful moments in your life and you hold on tight because you don’t want to let go.
This is how I spent an evening in El Salvador...
So far this month has been incredible! I haven’t written a blog in about 2 weeks and so I have a lot to catch you up on, so here it goes…
El Salvador:
Population 6 million…living in Santa Tecla…San Salvador is the Capitol…three big malls…restaurants…laser tag…Wal-Mart…across the street from malls are the slums…industrial, yet poor.
Ministry:
Mi Casa International…orphanage which they call a hogar (home)…17 kids…Tios and Tias…contact is Bob McDonnell (wife Maricela)...a loving and safe home for abandoned, neglected, and abused children…two homes – one for girls and one for boys…homes are right across the street from one another…11 girls (including 2 babies) and 6 boys…God’s vision became a reality with Bob…work includes painting walls, Facebook pages for kids, painting murals, creating Power Points and videos, loving on kids, building relationships, and learning Spanish. He has developed this place to be a home of love, joy, and hope! It’s amazing to hear the stories of these kids and see how happy they are everyday.
Daily Life:
8:00am – morning prayer…9:00am-1:30pm – work…1:30-5:00pm – help with homework and hang out with the kids…6:00-8:00pm – dinner some time during these two hours…9:00pm – team time…10:30pm – bedtime! (daily schedule varies...)
Blessings this month:
weekend camping trip with kids…hiking up a mountain and being in three countries at once (Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador)…roasting marshmallows and drinking hot chocolate…Sunday morning service at the campground…Beach weekend with Bob…gorgeous, private beach house…boogie boarding with Bob…playing in the ocean with my team…falling asleep in a hammock…worship on the beach…great conversations with team mates...eating out…laser tag...overcame fear…created my very own Little Mermaid moment on the rocks.
Kids at Mi Casa:
Gaby…Aga…Angelica…Brisa…Rosa…Julia…Rosita…Ceci…Lili…Fatima…Mary…Javier…Nestor…Juancito…Juan Carlos…Irvin…Kevin…JOY…laughter…playing soccer…watching Disney Channel…singing Adele…playing at the park…tickling…eating meals together…playing mica (tag)…keeping them away from our electronics…eventually giving in and letting them play with our electronics…hugs…kisses on the cheek…having a hard time understanding each other…learning Spanish…learning English…homework...more hugs!
Personal Growth:
God working like crazy…pre-WR: “I know there’s more to life, but what is it?”…on the WR: “oh, WOW There is totally MORE!”…stretched…pushed…challenged…stripped down…facing fears…learning how to be who I am in Christ…encountering the Holy Spirit...everyday...bold…courageous…strong…hungry…fearless…confident...filling up with more of God and less of me…WHEW!
That’s about it for now…I will do my best not to wait so long in between blogs next time. I appreciate you reading my blogs and please feel free to share my stories with friends and family. It’s exciting to have this place where I can testify to the awesomeness that God is doing all over the world.
OH...and I'm having trouble with the Internet and pictures right now, so there will be an all pic blog coming soon!
When I think back on the month we spent in Antigua, I can only praise God for the amazing process.
Antigua was… Hard Challenging Beautiful Joyful
Laughter Tears Hugs Growth
Honesty Truth Seeking Unbelievable Family
Friends Brothers Sisters Salvation
Full Crazy Awesome Redemption
I learned… how to love without restraint
how to wrestle with boys who have cerebral palsy
how to listen to God’s voice
how to speak life into others with authority
how to seek out answers in the Bible
the importance and truth about fasting
that community life is incredibly challenging & incredibly rewarding
I saw… God transform lives
a teenage girl accept Jesus Christ into her heart
13 people learn to work together in a small kitchen
God’s presence on the roof of the hostel during team worship
Powerful prayer time
Grandmas and Grandpas smile just because I was sitting with them
Kids with cerebral palsy fight through every day and find joy
Our lives blessed through delicious food and beautiful landscape
One of the greatest challenges I overcame was at the Hermano Pedro Hospital. I have shared this story in another blog, and now I want to share the conclusion! The first day was extremely difficult. I walked in and made the decision to hang out with the kids, instead of cleaning beds. The truth is I was terrified and I didn’t know how to interact with them. After about 20 minutes and a lot of prayer, I started to relax and just be there with the kids. Then by the end of four weeks, I was wrestling with kids, playing ball, running around with their wheelchairs,feeding babies, and loving without restraint! God exceeded my expectations about what LOVE looks like and my view on people with disablilities has changed!
Month one was an amazing journey and I want to thank you all for sharing in this adventure! It began with wrestling with Jesus on how to do ministry and ended with
wrestling with Jesus through the kids!
I made this video of our time at the hospital, so you can see the joy in the faces of the kids we got to hang out with in Antigua. ENJOY and GOD BLESS YOU TODAY! :D
My team mate Nathan made this CRIBS video of our hostel in Anitgua, Guatemala! We are now in El Salvador, so I want to share it with you and then I'm sure there will be another for this month. ENJOY!!! :D
One of our activities in Antigua is to wake up early and hike up the side of a mountain. Once we are at the top, we are rewarded with an incredible view of the city! There is a cross at this lookout point...it stands high and sturdy, and reminds me that God is everywhere! Not only do we get some good exercise through this hike, we are also able to have some worship and reflection time while looking out over the city of Antigua.
I made this video so that you can see us in action! Thank you so much for supporting me in prayer and through blog reading. I hope that you've enjoyed reading the stories so far, and I hope that you enjoy this video.
First I want to share a funny story...I was washing dishes after lunch today and when asked "Are you OK?" by one of my guy teammates, I said "No not at all." (In reality, I was great...I was just kidding about not being ok.) His immediate response though was, "oh what's wrong? Do you want some chocolate?" HA HA! I guess he thinks that all women want when they're not OK is chocolate...silly guys!
This blog though, is not about what women want, but what THIS WORLD NEEDS!
What this world needs is…
Love
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. –1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I have been blessed with so many people to love and who love me on this trip! I LOVE my teammates Aisha, Ashley, Dan, Lynnsey, Nathan, and Ryan! They are such a huge part of why I wake up feeling so great every day. They are all very different people, with different stories, and different opinions and views on the world. I LOVE that I am lifted up by each of them daily, I am challenged by them, encouraged by them, and of course unconditionally loved by them! It’s overwhelming sometimes to think about how blessed I am to have them along for this journey! I thank God for who they are and for what they speak into my life. I learn something new every day about myself because of the lessons I receive from my teammates!
I am blessed this month with the love of Team Raja too!
I’ve learned how to love children with cerebral palsy who don’t speak English, and to show them Christ’s love without saying a word. I’ve also learned to love grandpas and grandmas without words, and of course how to love them by just being with them and showing that someone cares. Love is a universal language that doesn’t need words. Love is expressed and received in thousands of ways, by millions of people. When love is absent lives are destroyed, hope is lost, and abandonment occurs. People feel unworthy, useless, ugly, weak, lost, etc. This list goes on and it gets quite depressing, BUTthe good news is that when love is present lives are built, hope is found, and abandonment is lost! People feel worthy, joyful, accepted, strong, beautiful, etc.
Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. –John 13:34-35 When there is love, then there is joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the fruit of the Spirit…the Holy Spirit that dwells in those who know Jesus Christ! Casting Crowns has a song titled What This World Needs, and it says that the world needs is a Savior who will rescue, a Spirit who will lead, anda Father who will LOVE them in their time of need. God has spoken to me so much in just the two weeks that I’ve been in Antigua, and the loudest message is to LOVE…to love my family and friends back home, my team Shadowfeet, and the people I meet along the way.
I was encouraged once to write a personal mission statement and this is what I came up with: My personal mission is to LOVE OTHERS IN ORDER TO SHOW CHRIST’S LOVE!
It’s interesting how God puts us in places where we don’t think we have much to contribute. I have been challenged in our first few days of ministry and I want to share some stories of how God has turned these CHALLENGES into BEAUTY.
Consider it pure joy my brothers (and sisters) whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. –James 1:4-5, 12
HOSPITAL MINISTRY My first day of ministry was super challenging for me because we went to a hospital to spend time loving children with severe cerebral palsy. I had no idea what to do or what to say to them that would be of worth. I wasn’t sure that they would understand me or even know I was there. After 20 minutes, I found Melvin…he’s the hospital “Romeo”...I began to rub his head and as when he smiled at me the first time, my heart melted. It was in that moment that everything was OK...in an instant I just understood how to love them. I just needed to give them some attention and let them know that I am “here”…exactly the way God loves us.
GRANDPA HOUSE MINISTRY
Casa Maria is a nursing home, or a “Grandpa House”, that we visit for a morning or an afternoon and love the old people in the home. I only speak a bare minimum Spanish and I understand, well, a bare minimum, but somehow I am able to communicate to the Guatemalans of Casa Maria.
Funny Side Story (kind of related): Monday was our first day of ministry and we went to a nursing home that we found out later was the “wrong” one, but we still spent two days there singing, dancing, and talking to the people in this home. My teammate, Ashley, said one night that it wasn’t the “wrong” place, so I restated that it was the “unscheduled” nursing home. It’s awesome to see God’s hand in our daily activities and how there is no “wrong”.
So back at Casa Maria, which we have nicknamed the OG Home since it’s the original grandpa home, I met Jorge, Renna, Carlos, and Jesus. The language barrier makes it difficult to have long conversations with people, but just by sitting there and attempting to speak with them, brings joy to both the old and the young.
My mom has tried to show me how to crochet, but I’ve never really been interested. I’m still not too interested, but when a lovely little Spanish woman who is vying for your attention to teach, you learn! HA HA! She was very patient and repeated the steps in Spanish as she did them and even though I had no idea what she was saying, I learned! It was awesome! I was blessed in the middle of ministry while I was working to bless the grandpas and grandmas
of Guatemala.
There are so many more stories to come, and so many more pictures! God has truly blessed us with Antigua and I pray that we are a light in the darkness!
Please continue to pray for Team Shadowfeet and D-Squad.
Enjoy these pictures from our ministry this week! Love you all! :D
